Thursday, July 07, 2005
●● Lost! ●●
When everyone else is starting their nursing careers in hospitals, in clinics, in anywhere, while I'm still teaching, honestly, I feel really lost. LOST. Lost in space, not wonderspace, cos it's not wonderful at all. Not even a little bit.
People envy me, saying how lucky I am.. Gosh. Am I?
I saw my friends getting places in hospitals, in wards, in speciality areas, in clinics.. I saw them getting uniforms, getting name tags, getting training lessons, getting pay... I feel LOST.
I wonder to myself, what the hell am I doing now?
Friends who have graduated in the same batch as me are starting their careers.. And I'm still doing teaching.
Oh gosh! How I wish I could have a better grasp of the future. But I can't. I'm waiting. Waiting for the uni to give me a reply. Damn uni. They're taking ages to reply. And I heard that I had to wait a month more. Please ~ Goodness.. I wish they could be more efficient so that I wouldn't be left hanging in mid-air, feeling so vulnerable and confused.
Should I have taken a bond/scholarship instead? Like my friends. Would it be better? I really don't know. I have rejected other scholarships like from Navy Medic, Police and Teaching. Bonds, I'm actually very scared of them. Probably I will get stuck in a place for a v.v.v. long time. Somehow I know I wouldn't stay long in a place unless its my fave child/adolescent psy speciality dept. But when you're bonded, you don't get to choose. I guess that's why during my 3 years of schooling, I didn't take up any scholarships even though the hospitals' nursing officers wanted me to.
I would really love to venture out on my own to carve my own career in the fields of child/adolescent. Wouldn't it be nice to get your dream job? I guess working would never be a chore then, in fact, I think I would look forward to working everyday. Teeheehee :)