Tuesday, April 08, 2008
●● End of The Road ●●
Yesterday, I came to an empty bed and I knew where my patient had gone to. I used to hold his hands and comforted him while he was breathing hard with the non-rebreathing mask. Even though I had to wear the gloves (MRSA), his hands felt so warm and sturdy. Often, I visited him at the High Dependency Unit and nagged at him to do his breathing exercises. He would smile and do a deep breath for me. At his most painful moment whilst they were inserting and re-inserting his Ryle's tube, I held his hands tight and stood by him when he looked me in the eye and said, "Please save me, you must save me". On days when his vital signs were excellent, I cheered him up with the good news and pointed at the display panel. He smiled, and stuck out his thumb to signal a good sign. Now, he has left after a tough battle. In my heart, he will always remain as a kind and fuss-free patient, someone who is a true warrior.
Today, I was walking along the hospital corridors when I was informed that another patient of mine had passed on. I was taken aback. I was planning to visit him at home and surprise him with his fave bak kut teh to cheer him up. But yet, I never got to do so. He was like a grandpa, tall and strong. He told me tales of how he worked hard, and shared with me his deepest fears and worries about death. At his most difficult moments, he looked me in the eyes and confided earnestly that he was suffering and wanted to die. This was how much he trusted me. I sat by him and listened to all of his feelings. I accepted all the negative emotions and gave him my all by being by him. I read newspapers to him when he was weak and breathless. I told him about the world and updated him about the interesting things that had happened. He had passed away in peace, but he will always have a special part in my heart. A strong man with the toughest determination, a sure fighter... till the very end.